Let’s make marriage a beautiful process
Well this subject is personal in a way, but I see it happening in many families! This phenomenon fortunately is not universal, but still is being observed at many places. At least I have seen it very closely!
Human life cycle, birth, childhood, sweet sixteen, wonderful young age, romance, love, affection, friendship, party, personal identity, money, jobs, own bike, own home, own money, relations, marriage, married life, giving birth to a child, old age and cycle goes on and on and on!
I am a 90 born child. So as per my neighbours, relatives and parents this is the age to get married! What they call it is, ‘getting settled’! I am not against marriage. Done with mutual consent and clear priorities, this is one of the best associations in human life. But I see many educated, higher middle class people forcibly convincing their children to get married.
In India, it is parent’s responsibility to find a spouse for child. I do not know how many children really want their parents to do this, but this tradition is being followed by many families. It has its own advantages too, for instance, security, family approval, society’s consent etc. Everything has its positive and not so positive side, depending upon how we look at it.
Now, one of my close friends is looking for a groom. All those basic spouse finding steps have been taken; such as, registering on matrimonial sites, informing relatives and closed ones so that they can recommend a suitable person. Once suitable match is found, families meet each other and discuss the matter further (If mutual interest is shown).
Now, this friend of mine was not ready to get married initially. She wanted to study further and appear for doctorate exams, though her parents wanted her to get married. To avoid any further stress in family she agreed!
It has been a year now and she is still not able to find a suitable guy for her. You know that ‘series of misses’ happens, sometimes you reject the person and sometimes the other person rejects you!
But now, her parents are not ready to let the series go further and want her to get married soon. Just to keep her parents happy that girl is now ready for a marriage too. Parents want her to say yes for almost anything the groom family demands. The boys who come to meet her, want her to earn but in limit, study but in limit and plus she must do all the household chores too.
I do not understand where are we going? Where are we taking our family, society or nation?
I genuinely understand that our parents are from the generation where society was more important than an individual. But are we belonging to the same generation? Using iPhone, having credit cards, partying with friends, night outs, camping, is all cool, amazing, no doubt in it! But this does not make us modern and advance and deep inside we agree to this!
All I want to request parents is to stop forcing children to marry! I want parents to talk to children and consider their opinions too!
Your children are of the present generation and know some facts better than you and there is nothing wrong in it.
They have their own dreams, wishes, preferences and as a human you can accept it. As a parent you can stand by it. Trust me, once children realize that they can be open to you, you will know that your children are not as ‘useless’ or ‘weak’ either, as you think they are. They are smart and even if they are lacking somewhere, they will find a way to learn it and grow the way they want.
Marriage is a beautiful relation. Let your child truly enjoy the process!
This is not just about telling parents to be more open, but the responsibility is on youngster’s shoulders too. Young generation needs to admit that both men and women are earning money and are taking equal efforts to get their dreams. As a spouse, one needs to support his/her partner to grow further.
A girl will no more stick only to the kitchen and house. In a same way, if a boy is more interested in doing household work, there is nothing weird in it.
All I want is a beautiful and healthy married life for all who wants to get married! I want beautiful bonding between two families!