In the intricate dance of human emotions and interactions, the way we respond to triggers often holds a mirror to our inner landscapes. It is a delicate balance between maintaining composure and succumbing to irrational anger.

Why, in the first place, are we reactive?

When our stress reaction kicks in, pushing us into fight, flight, or freeze mode, we become reactive or overreactive. We respond instinctively. We don't have complete control in this area, therefore it might be challenging to perceive things clearly and impartially. Our triggers are often linked to past experiences. For instance, feeling upset when someone ignores you might be connected to a traumatic or micromanaged childhood, creating a sense of chaos. On the flip side, situations that make us feel in control can also act as triggers.
 

Next, consider how you would like to reply in its place.

It becomes evident, upon reflecting on our responses to triggers, that maintaining composure is preferable to succumbing to irrational anger. Given the choice in reacting to others' anger, I opt for composure and control. This choice is grounded in the awareness of our strong reactions to the anger of others. I firmly believe that living in our world with composure, politeness, and care is the "right" way. Violation of these ideals, when met with a completely opposite response, paradoxically triggers our own rage.

PAUSE> FUEL SOME SENSE INTO IT > ACT 

1. Pause for a moment. Take note of your own changes: tense neck, flushed cheeks, faster heartbeat. Continue inhaling deeply while you de-warm up.

2. Make sense of it. By moving away from your subjective experience and toward the objective reality, consider what just transpired logically. Try not to personalize what occurred to you and instead find a method to show sympathy.

3. Take action. Make "I" statements to express oneself, or get out of the circumstance. If you're still angry, try to find another means to express yourself.

Always remember that the slightest inconvenience has the power to make you lose your cool if something has been troubling you for a long time. Make an effort to deal with the past and find solutions for anything that is actually causing us trouble right now. I promise that if we don't, we'll still worry about the little things. Deal with problems head-on as soon as they appear. Let it out so that one can both move on and let it go. Do whatever it takes to get it out of your system—keep a journal, write a letter. It's no secret that hardships may arise in life. Additionally, it's simple to become impatient when things don't go our way!